Cash Cab
by Black Lightning Bulb
Summary: A crack fic about the dangers of taking a cab ride. If you have every seen cash cab you will understand. If you haven't you'll understand anyway.


This would definitely be called a crackfic for sure. Were also pretending that RENT characters are not a day older in 2005 and can actually afford a cab! holy crab! (That was actually a typo, but I'm keeping it like that. Hahaha.)

Cash Cab!

"You just got paid, and I don't feel like walking home from this," Collins looked around and shrugged, "Somewhere. We'll just say where going to the Life Cafe, everyone knows where that is."

"I was going to use this for food. Something that people need. Food does not constitute as stale crackers that where stolen from the Life Cafe." Mark argued.

"Shut up Mark." Mimi responded, sticking her hand out to wave a cab.

"That's why I love her." Roger said, making Collins crack up in a fit of giggles.

A van cab clamored to the curb and they all hopped in, and the cab driver turned back towards them. "Where are you all going today?"

"The next block." Mark muttered.

"What?" The cabbie asked.

"He's just being a sour apple." Collins replied. "The Life Cafe on the corner of Avenue B."

All of the sudden, a large buzzer went off and orange and blue squares flashed above their heads. They all looked at each other with raised eyebrows, immediately thinking that they had done something stupid by choosing this cab. "Surprised?" The cabbie asked.

"A little." Mark responded, still looking at the roof of the car.

"Well let me explain then. You on a TV show called Cash Cab. I ask you questions, and you get money for everyone you get right. If you miss three though I'm booting you out and you have to walk the rest of the way. You get to shout outs, mobile and street. You all in."

"Hell yeah!" Mimi shouted from the back seat.

The cabbie turned out from the curb looking through the rear view mirror at the occupants. "So what are your names?"

"Mimi."

"Roger."

"Mark."

"Collins."

"Well Mimi, Roger, Mark, and Collins, I'm Ben. Collins will be the official answerer, any answer needs to be said by him." He turned back towards the road. "Alright the first questions will be worth twenty five dollars a piece. Collectively, Pavarotti, Domingo, and Carreras are better known as what singing trio?"

Mimi raised an eyebrow at Roger who shrugged. "I do rock not opera."

"Dude you just answered the question. Sort of anyway." Mark said, turning towards Collins. "The Three Tenors."

Collins turned towards the front of the cab. "The Three Tenors."

"And that is correct." Ben replied. "You in a band Roger?"

"Sort of." Roger said sheepishly. "We're not that good yet."

"He's lying there great." Mimi gushed, squeezing his leg.

"Well this is a good way to get yourself known. Let's continue onward. In the Hans Christian Andersen story, what tiny item did the Princess feel through a stack of mattresses?"

"A pea! Collins its a pea!" Mimi squealed, slapping Collins on the arm in her excitement.

Collins moved his arm away, "Damn girl! Stop it! Like the young woman said a pea indeed."

Ben laughed, "A pea indeed is correct! You have fifty dollars, no strikes and you still have your shout outs! Don't forget them because they can help in a jam. On to the next question. Albany is the capital of this state but what is the capital of the Lone Start State?"

"I know that's Texas at least." Collins said, turning towards everyone in the car. "Anyone know? Any takers?'

"Austin." Mark replied, looking at Roger in disdain. "You called me drunk from there remember? When you were on your way to Sante Fe?"

Collins didn't wait for Roger's response, "That would be Austin pretty boy."

"Not only are you correct, you are correct on both accounts. I am beautiful." Ben replied. "You have no strikes and seventy five dollars. Forty seven blocks to go, plenty of time to make more mullah. This will be your last twenty five dollar question. From 1990 until they went to the Euro, the Deutsche Mark was the official currency of what country?"

"That would be Germany!" Collins answered, while his friends cracked up, knowing exactly why he knew that.

"That is correct! Now we move on to the fifty dollar questions. Reportedly, Bill Clinton used what poet's "Leaves of Grass" to woo both Hillary and Monica?"

"I don't know. Mark you actually keep up with the news." Roger said, turning to Mark.

Mark shrugged, "I pay attention to the news, not trash."

"Walt Whitman." Mimi interrupted. "I actually paid attention in school!"

"She was right before, so hopefully she'll be right again. Walt Whitman."

Ben scrunched his face up turning sighing. "That is correct! Psyched you out didn't I?" He looked back, seeing only a look of blankness on his occupants faces. "Guess not huh? Well anyway next question. In 1912, the crew of the _Carpathia_ helped assist the survivors of what nautical disaster?"

"It was the Titanic." Mimi turned to Roger slugging him in the arm. "Aren't you glad we rented Titanic instead of Gladiator."

"Not really."

"Titanic, and I am, because I'd take Leo over Russel any day of the week." Collins asked continuing on with the conversation.

Ben raised an eyebrow. "You have a thing for attractive white men who work in the film business don't you?"

"You bet." Collins said, beaming proudly.

The cab came to a stop and Ben turned around. "We are at a red light which triggers a _red light challenge!_ Here's how this works, I'll ask you a multiple answer question. If you get it right, you get double the money. If not you just stick with what you have, no strikes at all. Ready? Well it doesn't matter. In Roman mythology the Gods are named after the planets. These planets basically represented Greek gods. Name five of them, that were also planets."

"Zeus, Ares, Poseidon, Hades, um, I'm out guys." Mark said, trying to rack his brains for more gods.

"How could you forget Aphrodite?" Mimi asked.

"And you have just doubled your money! So now you have five hundred dollars!" Ben exclaimed.

"Eat your heart out Benny!" Mimi replied, glomping Roger.

"Here, here!" Collins yelled.

"I don't know who this Benny in, but I guess you all do. So let's move on, now any good New Yorker should know the answer to this. What formerly independent city became a borough of NYC in 1898?"

"I have no idea."

"Ditto."

"Well then let's try a shout out." Collins said.

"What kind?"

"Mobile." Collins replied, handing the cell phone Ben gave him to Mark.

"So who you calling Mark?" Ben asked.

"Maureen. Yeah it's Mark."

He repeated the question while Collins answered Ben's. "Maureen is his ex-girlfriend's girlfriend."

"Ouch."

"Yup."

"It's Brooklyn." Mark said. "Yeah, meat us at the loft. See you." He hung up, passing the phone back up to Ben. "She says it's Brooklyn."

"Well if Maureen says its Brooklyn, then our answer is Brooklyn."

"Well your ex's girl is correct Mark!" Mark glared at Collins while Ben continued onward. "Time for the one hundred dollar questions! You have 26 more blocks, more then enough time to wrack up a lot more cash. This actor has starred in movies such a Dirty Dancing and Beauty and the Beast. He also has a reoccurring role as a Detective Briscoe in Law and Order. Name the actor."

"Oh that's the show with that really fine black guy. Jesse L. Martin. He is fine!" Collins exclaimed.

"Jerry Orbach. Beauty and The Beast was my favorite when I was little." Mimi said.

"Jerry Orbach." Collins said.

Jerry Orbach is correct! You guys are on a role!" Ben said. "What English rock band had the late Keith Moon been a drummer?"

"The Who!" Roger exclaimed, practically jumping out of his seat to help.

"Music Man says The Who."

"The Who is correct. In what theory did Eisenhower suggest that if one country falls to communism, the country next to it would follow suit?"

They all sat there looking at one another silently communicating what the answer could be. Before they could ask for another shout out though a buzzer rang, "Oh and time is up. The Domino Theory was the correct answer. We are at your stop." He turned towards the group after he pulled up to cab. "Here is how this goes. You can either take the seven hundred and fifty dollars and run, or you could take the video bonus challenge. You'll watch a clip on the screen and I'll ask a question and if you get it right, you double your winnings, earning one thousand, five hundred dollars. If you get it wrong you walk away with nothing but a cab ride. You all in or out?"

Collins turned towards the back seat, "Yay or nay on three guys. Uno, duex, three!"

Everyone except Mark shouted yay. Mark sulked, "I guess I have no choice do I?"

"Alright, turn towards the monitor and watch this clip. This active volcano called Kiluaea in Hawaii is right now spewing lava. Before the lava comes out of it, it is known as what?" Ben asked. He bit his nails animatedly for the camera while they discussed the answer.

"It's magma."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"Then we are going with magma."

"And you are correct! You have just earned your selves one thousand five hundred dollars!" Ben said, handing them back cash, and they all cheered climbing out of the car. "I guess Benny really will eat his heart out." Ben said.

A camera was outside the cab waiting for there reaction. Roger and Mimi were having a celebratory make out session, and Collins and Mark were looking back at them in disgust. "Keep the PDA to a minimum!" Mark said, turning away immediately.

Collins turned toward the camera, grinning widely. "He's getting laid tonight, and he only answered one question."

HAHA! I really felt like doing that Jesse L. Martin thing. Those questions were taken from the show, except the law and order one. I'm watching it right now, so I have an excuse. I gots Law and Order on the brain yo! Jk


End file.
